The word is generally used to describe someone who is: In fact, “ narcissist ” is one of the most common terms that callers use when describing their partners to National Domestic Violence Hotline operators. It may be tempting to label someone as narcissistic, which is a term that often shows up in media coverage or casual conversation. Many people wonder how and why another person would be capable of saying or doing things that cause so much harm. A general rule of thumb to follow is that if you need to wonder whether a relationship is based on love or a trauma bond, it’s probably not love. Trauma bonds do not transform into healthy, stable, or loving relationships. A longing for “what could be” based on an initial honeymoon phaseĭue to the unequal balance of power and manipulation at its core, there’s no such thing as a good or healthy trauma bond.A lack of safety in all of your interactions, including with health care professionals, family members and therapists.An inability to remove the other person from your life.A sense that you need the other person in your life to be fulfilled.An extreme fear and repulsion at the thought of the relationship ending.
An intense need for the other person in order to function and survive. Some common experiences of trauma bonding include feeling: It’s also possible for a person to dissociate from their feelings altogether as a way of coping with the distress from the abusive behavior. It’s possible to be unhappy in a relationship or not even like a person and still be trauma bonded to them. There’s no one way to explain how a trauma bond feels it can be different for each person. Make empty promises to behave better in the future. Try to isolate the other person from their loved ones. Blame the other person for their changing emotional states. Disbelief in the potential to have a safe and supportive relationship. Defensiveness toward anyone who intervenes to address the abuse. Reluctance to end the relationship despite acknowledging a desire to separate. A selective memory that focuses on the kind or caring gestures and ignores the abuse. 
Continued trust in a person who has proven to be unreliable. Attempts to cover up the other person’s abuse. Self-blame and excuses to minimize the harmful and cruel behavior of the other person (“I started it,” or, “They’re under a lot of pressure right now.”). Social isolation that enhances a sense of dependence in the relationship. 
Difficulty distinguishing between loving and abusive treatment. Potential signs of trauma bonding may include: Unfortunately, the warning signs are not always clear-cut, so a person may not be aware that they’re developing a trauma bond. Trauma bonds show up when there’s an imbalance of power in a relationship. TRAUMA BOND DEFINITION FREE
It is not easy to break free of a trauma bond, but it is possible.Because it is rooted in an imbalanced and abusive dynamic, there is no such thing as a healthy trauma bond.
Trauma bonding is an attachment that can develop in an exploitative or abusive relationship. In this case, despite an extreme power imbalance, the four bank workers became attached to their armed captors during their six-day captivity. It can occur with anyone, including family members, friends, partners and other loved ones.Ī famous example of trauma bonding is Stockholm syndrome, named after the 1973 bank robbery in Stockholm, Sweden. Trauma bonding is an emotional and psychological attachment that develops in an exploitative or abusive relationship. By Kate Dubé, LCSW on November 19th, 2021
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